Honestly....

Fuck me once, shame on you. Fuck me twice- shame on me.

When will I learn? I dont have the answer to my own question. I have a horrible, horrible time trusting people bc of a "friend" that fucked me over years ago. I walked her out of my life after being best friends with her for over 20 years. She resurfaced on Saturday night, groveling at my feet asking questions about the guy that she left her husband for , knowing I had dated him a few years back. There are some nice choice words on MS today for me to see, which I did. Dumbass for looking. So yes, I have trust issues bc of this dumb bitch. However, WHY is it that I give people the benefit of the doubt all the time? When is enough? When will I learn? It's like the owl that licked the lollipop-- the world may never know. I think I need to grow a set of bigger balls and just let everyone fuck up their own lives instead of trying to "help". Then again the pure enjoyment of watching the bitch grovel at my feet was pleasure enough for me.

Moving on....

It's been a busy week. House #1 is no longer mine. I closed on that puppy last Monday. 1 down and 1 to go! Now I just need to finish up with this one and get it all into my name and I can start tearing this puppy apart! Of course it'll have to happen little by little as I can't shit money. Still, the pure satisfaction that it will be mine soon will be enough. She was nice enough to give me a land contract on it so I have changed some things but mostly only painted. I dont dare "really" get the ball rolling and do things I'm not supposed to do until it's all finalized in black & white.

Bug turned 8!!!! It's amazing how fast they grow up. It's like yesterday that I had taken her home from the hospital. I've always explained to anyone that is expecting- you will NEVER know the meaning of true unconditional love until you have a child.

WTF is up w/ PETA wanting to use BREAST MILK for Ben & Jerry's ice cream!? Are you fucking kidding me!? Gross. Granted I am a mom so of course I tasted the shit that leaked out of my boobs while breast feeding but honestly? BREAST MILK ICE CREAM!? Gross!!!!!! And just how does PETA think they will accomplish this task? Surely there would be idiots that would be willing to be hooked up to a milker for this but ewww. EWWWW EWWWW EWWWWW!!!!!!!!! Just the thought of eating ice cream made with some strange ladies boob milk makes me want to hurl. Who the fuck things of this shit???

The leaves are starting to change here and they are gorgeous. Last year it was nothing but a bunch of yellow but this year we've had enough rain that the colors are *so* vivid. Lots of oranges and reds. We even saw one the other day that was almost a purple-red. Beautiful! As much as I'm against exercise, I feel a hike coming on.

Saturday night (minus all the drama), George and I attended a 40th bday party for a friend of ours. It was a good time. We made it through the night w/o arguing once! Truely something to be proud of! (Esp lately!!!) We got home, had kick ass matress tango and slept till noon. Great night! I do believe that I was still drunk when I woke up at noon and ordered breakfast. Ya, it was a good one. :)

My Grandpa's ex gf finally passed away Friday night. I think I blogged about her before. She was sick for months, in and out of the hospital and was finally diagnosed w/ leukemia. Very sad and she went downhill fairly quickly. My Grandpa was with her for at least 15+ years before they broke it off for good. Still, he visited her every day in the long term care unit at the hospital. Poor guy. His best friend also passed away about a week ago. It must be hell to get old. Especially when you start outliving all your friends etc. I cannot imagine. Nor do I really want to for that matter.

I hung Halloween shit up tonight. Bug was driving me nuts so we finally did it. I bought a cool looking spider web thing from WalMart. It has orange lights and 2 orange spiders. Looks pretty damn cool if I do say so myself. I should've taken a picture when I was outside a bit ago (the ambulance went by my house so I was being the nosy neighbor trying to figure out whose house they were at) but I didn't bring my camera. Maybe tomorrow. Although I guess I should remove the big pile of SHIT my dog left on my front porch. Little bastard. I hate dogs.

I really like the new Christina song. Especially the part about being a "super bitch". Maybe that's what I should be for Halloween? Super Bitch! Oh that could be fun!!! Still undecided about Halloween.... What to do, what to do? We're supposed to do the German thing but now I'm rethinking the whole thing... Idk.

I need a new car. Mine is a peice of shit.

I need new clothes too. Mine are old and they shrunk.

And a laptop too. It'd be so much easier to blog so I didn't have to sit in here and I could sit my ass on the couch and watch my tv shows at the same time.

I'm thinking black & white w/ green accents for this room.... My mind is just constantly thinking about how to transform this house that's stuck somewhere between 1960-1985.

I hate winter.

Alright I guess its time for me to go. Breast milk, winter, leaves, Bug's bday, houses, matress tango-- I think I've covered it all. If I go on any further it'll just be (more) sensless babbeling.

G'Night Hookers!

It's official

I may still have my 2 dogs and my bald cat but my life is a chorus away from becoming a mother fucking cock sucking country song.

Actions speak louder than words

Fist of all I want to apoligize if I weirded someone out. There is a gentleman on blogger that has an amazing knack for writing. He had expressed that he had read my old blog when I posted something asking if anyone visited anymore. I sent him the link for this one. After a while of reading I noticed his email address was on his profile so I found him on Myspace and added him as a friend. I didn't really think this was too odd. Anyway, he asked who I was, I responded and the next thing I know his blog is blocked and he's removed from MS. I'm really sorry if I offended or weirded you out. That honestly was not my intention. I just thought you were a very cool person is all. I'm sorry.

Apparently I fucked that up too.

So yesterday we had a 2nd annual picnic for my Grandpa who passed away a year and a half ago. George had a beneifit for a guy that he works with and then was going to meet us at my Grandpa's camp. It started raining, people were under the sauna, by the fire, under the tent, in the house etc... it didn't matter. Everyone had a great time. Tons of food. It was a nice turn out. George never showed.

I had had a conversation w/ a friend when she called on Friday about bringing George out with her after the benefit but then she wasn't coming out until after the benefit was over at 7pm. I had told her that if he comes out at that time he might as well not even show up. He'll be drinking etc and that's his priority. Not me. Not my family. Alcohol. He simply can't say no. I told her I was honestly sick and tired of this. I was tired of coming in 2nd after liquor. I don't deserve it. I deserve better than that. Her response to me? "I am really suprised you've put up with it/him this long to be honest."

So.. as I get into town last night and finally get cell reception there are 2 messages from him. One was that it was raining and he can't imagine that we're still out there but he doesn't know where we are. The second message was that he was going to a bar w/ my 2 friends (they're also his co-workers), one of which I had the conversation with on Friday and she claimed she totally understood where I was coming from. Mind you that the bar they were going to was half way to where my camp was located. He didn't even attempt to drive out there to see if we were still there. He chose to go to the bar. I dropped the kids off here and went for a ride to the store. I called him at the bar and told him I was done. DONE. I cannot do this anymore. He has no care for me at all. None. After we hung up-- I honestly don't know who hung up first, I think it was pretty mutual, I left him a voice mail again telling him that I was done. After that I called my friend who was at the bar w/ him and left her a vm as well screaming at her and telling her that I hopes she finds him someone to fuck before the night is over. Uncalled for? Probably. So after I calmed down I left another message apoligizing.

IDK if I was right or wrong in leaving her a message like I did. I feel justified. I mean, she KNEW how upset I was going to be that he was at the bar yet she didn't do anything to defer him from going with them. She KNEW I was going to be pissed off that he didn't show up, yet she sat at the bar w/ him all night long. He called my house around 215am, of course after the bar closed. I didnt' answer. He didn't leave a message. He text'd me as well saying "So that's it?" We've text'd back and forth. Nothing will change. He has turned it into my fault. Imagine that? Typical. "Everyone sees it but you. You could should (go figure) have had a great time but you decided to make it some big deal n bitch at me on the phone. You really think I wanted to come over after that. Not!"

So you see, it's MY fault that I didn't have a great night. Has he forgotten that I have a child and couldn't just go to the bar? I'm sure his conscience was clear as could be last night. After all, he did stay out till bar closing. He doesn't give 2 flying fucks about me. He doesn't love me.

My heart is shattered but I have to move on. I cannot continue living like this. I told him earlier if he wanted to talk I will find a place for Bug to go for a while. I don't think I will hear from him. I guess that will be his final answer.

I won't play second fiddle. Especially to alchol. I've done it long enough and I'm done playing this fucked up game. Unless the rules change, I'm out.

Where do I go from here? I live in such a small town. Everyone knows everyone. The way he is, he'll find a new fuck within 2 weeks. That's how he operates. I, on the other hand will not be able to handle that. In no way, shape or form will I be able to see him with someone else.

I thought my ex boyfriend was the love of my life. It took me to find George, 3 years later, to get over him. I love George like no other in my life. I was sure that he was "the one". What is this going to do to me? I have cried enough tears that I dont possibly know how my body can make any more.


"Hurt"

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

[Chorus:]
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

[Chorus:]
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

Reflection....

When did I inherit this life? This is not the life that I ordered.

I think everyone has this idea of what their life will be like when they're older. Mine is NOTHING like I'd imagined. Not one single part of it. Well I guess I do have a dog or two, even though they were never part of the equation I suppose deep down I wanted a dog. I did want a child by the time I was 30 and I have her. She's just a bit older than I imagined she'd be when I turned 30.I wanted to have more kids. I wanted maybe 2 or 3. I have finally come to the realization she is the only one I will ever have.

I just don't think that the life I'd imagined is in the cards for me. Fate has a different plan for me.


I realize I'm only 31. I have many, many years ahead of me. I know that things can change drastically in a few months time. It's happened before and I'm sure it will happen again. However, right now... I'm just not where I thought I'd be.

I guess it's up to me to fix it... but how? How do you take such drastic measures to turn your life into what you'd imagined it would be? You can't force others around you to do and see things as you do... This is my life. It's what I make of it. Granted that I have done good for myself. I have made things happened that I've really wanted to happen. What I am most proud of is that I have done these things with very little help from anyone else. I bought a house when my mom told me it wasn't a good idea because of the maintenance, upkeep, taxes etc. The way I looked at it is that it's MINE. It's something that I own. I can do what I wish to it. And I did for about a year and a half until another opportunity knocked on my door. The opportunity for another house. I opted to do a land contract on that house before selling the other one first. I took my chances. Life is all about chances. If you dont' take them, how do you know what you are capable of? You only get one life and you better live it to the fullest. Everyone was worried about me owning 2 houses. After all it's not like I make a bunch of money and I am a single mom. However, a year later, the closing on my "old" house is next week and then we can start on the paperwork to close on my current house. *I* did it. Myself. And knowing that makes it so satisfying.

I hate when people tell me I can't do something. It only pushes me to do it more. To MAKE things happen. Am I scared to do things? Sure I am. Owning 2 houses when you make very little money per year and hoping that you have a solid renter in one to make your mortgage payment. What would have happened if he trashed the house? What if he moved out? Didnt' pay his rent? All those things went through my head as well as so many others. I had to have faith that it would all work out. So far it has.

My mind has been working overtime lately. It has taken a major toll on my mood. I'm just not happy. I think that's it. I'm not happy with my life. Now I have to figure out what to do about it. Sometimes it's not as easy as it sounds. I'm just not myself lately. I dont' even feel like myself. My mind races. I find that sometimes when I'm thinking about something, all of a sudden I'm thinking about something else but still on the other subject. How is it possible to think of two very different things at once? Even as I write this I have so many things races through my mind. Things I should be worried about and things that I have no business thinking about. I'm an analyzer. Always have been. I try not to be but then I have to analyze WHY I am thinking the things I'm thinking. It's a never ending battle inside my brain. Maybe I'm bi-polar or schizophrenic. After all, are they MY voices I hear? I'm pretty sure they are but I have to ask myself that since it seems they're never ending.

Ugh. Where is my easy button?

I hate winter. Maybe that's my problem? Maybe I know that winter is around the corner and I'm just getting depressed.... Idk.

School Days...

Ah yes, that time of year. School's back in session here now. Yeah. I got Bug all ready yesterday and brought her to school. I was NOT happy about her teacher this year and voiced my concerns to the pricipal over a month ago only to be told that due to the lack of teachers there isn't anything he can do about it right now. WONDERFUL. Ugh. I tried using the excuse that she lives right up the road from us, our daughter, even though they're 2 years apart, are friends. blah blah blah. Ya, didn't work. I figured it sounded better than me explaining to him what a total bitch this woman is and I've seen the way she treats her OWN daughter so WHY would I want to put *my* daughter through that?! Anyway, no hope of switching. Damn it. Well I walked into her classroom yesterday and teacher was pleasant-- moving children around whose desks are too big or small for them. However, it's like they took EVERY trouble making student in her grade and put them all with the "hard" teacher. WTF!? So OUR kids that are good have to suffer?! Great. Well Bug said she had a good day yesterday so I guess all I can do at this point is wait it out and hope that she gets some brownie points for personally knowing her....

So after school, for DAYS now, Bug has said she wanted to walk home. We live within walking distance so she is not allowed to ride the bus. It's probably about a mile between our house and the school. She was adament that she was walking... Ok so we took the road a couple of times, "this" is where you will walk etc (to my sisters house) and call me when you get there, don't talk to strangers, all that good stuff. School gets out at 319pm here. At 330p I get a phone call.. "Um mom, are you sure it's ok for me to walk?" (Totally irritated) "Um yes Bug, we've discussed thsi for days... why aren't you walking to Auntie's house???" Well come to find out she walked partly down the hill, got scared and turned around. She was offered a ride by our cousin, she turned it down bc she "really wants to walk", yet she calls ME at WORK from the school bc she's scared. Ugh. Luckily my dad was in town so I was able to call him to get her and drop her off at my sisters for me. Moral of the story-- No more walking home. She's just not ready.

The weekend was suprisingly good!!!! We went to the picnic/BBQ and had a good time. JSIL wasn't there but the other SIL was. She actually talked to me and tried squeezing information out of me. "Ummmm so I hear you're selling your house?". I had to correct her and explain the situation and that I am NOT selling it to move in with George. Not that it'd be any of her business anyway. I learned that that girl is even more of a miserable bitch that I origionally thought. I win. :) The rest of the weekend was nice as well. We did last minute school shopping on Saturday, had lunch, made a fire in the back yard when we got home. No arguing, no fighting. Lots of talking and laughing. It was sooooo nice to have that back. It was a nice, quiet, HOT weekend. Probably the hottest one so far this summer. For sure. And to think that now it's September and summer is pretty much over.... well it brings tear to my eye. Those that know me know how much I HATE winter. Barf.

Alright hookers, it's time for me to hop in the shower and cleanse myself (ya I know you all just got a mental right there) so I can get to work. I still have to wake Bug up and feed her etc. I'm trying this whole new thing of getting up early so I'm not late for work every day. So far so good..... Granted it's only beenone day!!! :)

Wow! Twice in one week!!!

Ah, the joys of shopping for school supplies... That's what I'll be doing today. Notebooks, pencils, pencil sharpeners, rulers, glue etc. Yeah. I'm *so* excited. Nothing like fighting a gazillion people in Walmart for what you need. The pure thought of the full parking lot makes me want to vomit. Not to mention all of the college kids that are now back as well. God I hate shopping. I take that back-- I hate shopping, unless it's for my house.

I'm still not sleeping. I'm on about day #10. I wake up around 4am, wide awake, can't sleep. My mind isn't really racing about anything. I guess I sort of wake up after a dream, but it's a different dream every night. Idk... Just odd. I hate not sleeping. Must have too much crap going on in my life.

Speaking of crap. Ugh. I am supposed to attend a bday party at the lake house for my boyfriends sister on Sunday. The only problem? I'm SURE the bad SIL will be there. I really shouldn't say "bad" as I don't know her well enough to judge her. Let's call her the judgemental SIL. The woman is married to George's brother and HATES me. Literally hates me. They live a little over an hour away from here, and I've only been in her presence maybe 3-4 times over the past year. I skipped Christmas at George's house bc of the fact that his divorce was fresh and I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable even though I had already met the majority of the family. I know how much they liked his wife and how it was the first holiday w/o her etc. Not to mention Christmas Eve was being held in their house. So I opted to stay home and go to his house later after everyone was gone. So anyway, it's been a year since he left her and filed for divorce. I have seen the JSIL on Easter (I was invited but again, out of fear of making anyone uncomfortable I showed up later), she was still there when I got there. Funny story. Normally, as in this case I'm sort of viewed as the "outsider" so I keep my mouth shut about things and try not to speak up, call attention to myself, or get into a pissing match with anyone. I just suck it up. Well JSIL was going on and on about a cousin of mine, who also happens to be one of her good friends. She wasn't aware that said girl & I are related. She was going on and on about what a horrible marriage she has etc (like it was HER business to tell anyone to begin with even if it is true), and George's mom had asked her if any of the kids had graduated yet. She said no. Well I'd had enough of JSIL and her shit so I pipped up "Uh, actually S graduated 2 years ago and A graduates this year". OMG the look on her face was priceless!!!! Totally like "I cannot believe you just spoke to me, let alone CORRECTED me!!!". Oh inside I was hysterically laughing my ass off. Anyway, that was the last time she spoke "to" me. So fast forward to the 4th of July. I run into my cousin who was in town for the weekend, and we get to talking about JSIL. She told me that JSIL emailed her and told her that I "thought I knew it all", cousin says "well that's because SHE DOES!!!" and then proceeded to tell her that we're related etc. Hahahhahah!!!!! I f'n love it. Dumbass. Small town and she'll never get it. You just never know who is related around this place so watch who's back you stick the knife in! Anyway, I saw her again at a graduation party for a nephew and maybe that's it? So I guess I've only been around her a couple of times. Yet, not ONE single time has she or George's brother even said "hello" or acknowledged me. He has another SIL that lives here but doesn't like me much either. Funny bc last summer every time she saw me she'd be all nicey nice and say "hello" etc. Ugh. I hate two faced people. We see them more often than JSIL and I actually initiated a conversation w/ her the last time we were all together but whatever. Funny thing about her is that I had dated a guy a few years ago (I'd talked about him on the old blog) that lived an hour or so away-- well he proceeded to tell me about the affair that he had w/ said SIL! Nice huh!? Just another reason for her not to like me. I'm pretty sure that she knows that I know about their affair. Oh the tangled web we weave.

Oh so back to my dilemma. Sorry for the tangent... Bday party for his sister on Sunday... Last sat when we were out and he had too much to drink, we got into a conversation about his family. Brother & JSIL in particular. He had gone to camp to see brother & kids and I had found out later that one of his sisters and his parents had gone as well. I explained to him that he never asked Bug & I to go. He didn't have anything to say. I told him that I knew it was bc brother was there and he doesn't like me. He went OFF. Literally. He said something to the effect of "no they dont like you-- get over it". Umm... Wow! Holy slap in the face and punch to the gut! Although idk WHY I even felt that way having already known how Brother and JSIL felt about me. Why was I so insulted? Honestly I dont' think he and his brother have even had a conversation about me. I think it's just "understood" that they don't like me. Anyway, so I'm pretty sure since it's Labor Day weekend that they will be there tomorrow. Granted that he has a large family and I can avoid them like the plague but I also know that I'll be uncomfortable. In conversation recently he said that (when invited to a family function) I always ask who will be there. He's right. I do. He doesn't get it. I explained to him that I ask bc I need to make sure if they're there I can get in the frame of mind to be around people that dont' like me. I think that's fair, don't you? I mean, to be around 3 people (brother & 2 SIL's, I get along w/ the other brother) that don't like you and shoot daggers at you??? Not only that but these people don't even KNOW me!!! They have NEVER given me a chace nor have they even taken the opportunity to say hello to me. Or "how are ya?". Nothing. Not once. They simply hate me bc they view me as being the reason for the demise of George's marriage. It was NOT my fault. None of it was MY fault. Apparently they need someone to blame so they blame me. I guess it's easier than accepting the truth. They were good friends w/ the ex so I'm sure that's hard. I can understand that. I can understand that they probably feel they're betraying her if they even so much as talk to me but ugh.... How judgemental can people be??? *I* am being blamed and held accountable for something that *I* wasn't a part of!!! So idk. I guess I can put on the fake "I don't care" face when in reality they make me extremely uncomfortable, or I can just choose not to go. I had mentioned something to him last night about not being sure if I'm going or not. He didn't understand. Hey it's supposed to be nice out. IDK. It's on the lake etc which is great but I guess THEY are the only reasons that I'm considering not going. I know that Bug would have a GREAT time playing w/ the kids but... Ugh. Ignorant people. Maybe I'll be lucky and they'll have something else to do and wont' be there. Although it's sisters 40th birthday so I'm SURE they'll be there. Damn it.

My new gawdy ring that I love so much-- ya I'm allergic to it. Ugh. I figured that since it was a better quality silver I'd be ok. Ya, I'm not. I wore it for what? 3 days maybe? Last night it started. Little red itchy bumps all along the side of my finger. Sucks. I'd like to wear different jewelry other than the normal every day stuff that I wear but I can't for this reason. Once I had a necklace on that had a big red medallion sort of thing. The back was coated in silver and I had the biggest, ugliest rash on my chest from it in the following days. Apparently I can't even do "better" silver. Earrings-- even the hypoallergenic (or whatever they're called) ones- nope. Ears get red & itchy immediately. Sucks ass. I've learned that w/ earrings, as long as I'm only wearing them for a few hours, I can coat them in a layer of clear nail polish to form a barrier between my skin & the metal, otherwise I'm screwed.

I guess that's all I have for you today. I have to finish up my coffe, finish reading the news, hop in the shower and get my little butt in gear to start my day. I really should mow my lawn as it looks like a hay field. The leaves are starting to change already, which is so pretty but then makes me want to barf knowing that winter is just around the corner-- again. Already. Ew.

Have a great day my bitches.

No HNT here

Been a while again huh? My life just isn't so interesting lately.

I picked up Bug on August 16th. I was soooooooo glad to see her!!! My little cousin (the one w/ all the surgeries- I think I've talked about her) and her mom drove down with me to get her. The girls are only 1.5 years apart and they get along so well. We took them to the Milwaukee Zoo (which is HUGE) as well as Chuck E Cheese bc little cousin had never been there before. Did a bit of school shopping (ew). In and out of the mall in less than an hour. Good enough for me. Ugh, I hate shopping.

The house bullshit is *almost* behind me. My renter/buyer has FINALLY gotten off his fucking ass after I reemed (or is it reamed???) him a new one. Some men are so fucking dumb. Honestly. He calls my cell phone AT WORK to say "uh... we have a problem". Ok. Define "we" and then tell me what the problem is. Well apparently there's a pipe in the basement that's leaking. Hmmm... part of me wanted to say "you dumb fuck, I gave you all the time in the world to sell your house before buying mine which has totally fucked me in the processes and now you want ME to fix your fucking pipe!?" See, had the paperwork been done months ago like I SHOULD have done- his problem, not mine. But since I guess I'm still technically his slum lord I should fix it. Yes? No? I dont fucking know. Anyway, so after this lovely news I ask him if he'd turned the paperwork I'd given him 2 weeks and 2 days prior, into his mortgage co yet. Guess what he said? NO! No, he hadn't turned it in!!!! Unreal. I have sat on this f'n house for almost a YEAR after he said he was going to buy it-- being NICE, hoping he could sell his other house in the meantime so he's not stuck with both (but it's ok for me to be apparently- I am so dumb). He KNEW I had to have the land contract on this house settled by October 1. Um ya. Roughly 33 days from now. Fucker. Needless to say after I went off on him he faxed it in as soon as he got to work. Honestly for a guy, he's useless. He also told me there was a "problem" with the paperwork. See, when you JUMP (yes I said JUMP) on part of the floor, the electricity goes out.... Hmmmm, I livd there for a year and a half with a small child, a dog, and a cat and it NEVER did that to me. Honestly I think I should just pull my pants down so he can just royally fuck me up the ass. Ugh. I guess this has taught me what I get for being nice and trying to help someone. Fucker.

I eBay'd myself a new ring. A girlfriend of mine has a Lia Sopia ring that I love. Gawdy as it sort of is I love it. I steal it from her every chance I get but by the end of the night she's always making me give it back. So unfair. Well so I decided that I should buy myself one. Uh ya. only one problem- it's RETIRED. Ugh. Well since they blocked me from MS at work I had to do something, so I searched ebay till I found the sucker. It's now on my finger. Shiny & new, gawdy as ever bc it's honestly too big for my finger but I love it anyway. The picture doesn't even do it justice to be honest. If I didn't hate my hands so much I'd take a picture of it on my finger but I don't think so. :)


In other news, it's Halloween time again. Yes I realize it's far too early to even be thinking about Halloween but I love it therefore I am. Get over it. Here's a view of last year-- Ok nevermind, you're not getting it bc I can't get them to upload. However, we were Bee's. Yes black & yellow bumblebees. The guy's made their costumes and they were freaking hilarious. Honestly they looked gay. It was great. This year we're going German. Yep, St Pauli's girls and guys wearing Lederhosen's. Outta be hot. :) I found a kick ass beer mug purse too. I scoured the inet today to find some hot shorts that say "Got Beer?" but do you THINK I can find them anywhere? No. Damn it.









Ok so apparently I got the pics to upload.... Hmmm

The dogs are crying, apparently they need to urinate. Better to do that outside I'm thinking...

Hopefully we'll catch up soon! Later bitches!