It's a new year & I've done a lot of reflecting in the past few months. I have decided that I need to stop being a door mat for those that feel they need someone there for them only for their own benefit but opt to not help you out at all in return. Opt to not be there when you need them most. I have really learned who my true friends are. During the death of my Grandma, the ones that I "thought" would be there, the ones that I felt I could talk to and lean upon were no where to be found. I got a simple text message or a facebook message saying "I'm sorry about your Grandma". How fucking impersonal is that? When its times that you need people the most... thats when you realize how true they are to you. Especially when they know how much my Grandma meant to me. How much she taught me in my life and about life in general.
I'm grateful for the wonderful friends that I have that have showed me that they are there for me when I need them most. Whether it's a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, or a pounding head to treat when I'm pissed off and yelling.
Since Oct I have reconnected with another old friend from childhood. It's nice to see how we can just pick up where we left off.
George & I are no longer together. He is another story that I don't care to blog about bc he is no longer a part of my life & honestly, I truly despise him.
So I've decided that instead of doing a life long Bucket List I am going to start one for each year. I'm going to do this instead of New Years resolutions. So far I'm doing well.
- I haven't smoked in a week (ok I cheated yesterday once but I have NO desire to smoke at all and the smoke actually drove me nuts. I'm actually a total hypocrite bc I hate smoke.
- Stop letting "friends" walk all over me. (I'm doing very good with this as well. Sucks when one has always been like a sister to you. Closer to me than my own sister.)
- Exercise. I've been doing really well. Well except in the past few days. I have been cross country skiing (bought myself & Bug a set for Christmas). I lugged the treadmill in the house & set it up. It's old but hell it's a treadmill. I have also been trying to do 30 min on the Wii fit a day. So far I'm doing well. I'm not really focused on losing weight bc I really don't need to. I'm not overweight by any means. I'd like to firm & tone. That's my goal. Since I started this the last week in Dec I have noticed a significant change in my legs, which really don't take much to tone at all. My arms & back are starting to get better but my stomach is the issue. Ick. I'm working on it though. I am going to give it a real try. For once in my life- a real try. So far I'm seeing changes but I think I should measure just to see. I did measure my waist and was floored at how big it is for my little body. No one ever believed me before. Well now I have proof! :) So I guess we'll see how things turn out. Wish me luck!!!
- Vacation. I desperately want a vacation this year. I would love another like Bug & I went last year but I'd also love one with just the girls this year. I guess we'll see what happens if she goes to her dads over Easter vacation. It's hard to just plan without anywhere for her to go while I'm gone. My parents live too far out of town to bring her to school every day. This is on the list.
I had bought the other touch screen that Nikon has but it didn't do what I wanted it to. My "old" Nikon was more sophisticated than that one so I sucked it up & bought this one and boy am I glad that I did!!! It's beautiful! And yes, of course I had to get it in red. :)
I have a potential date for this weekend. But it's with a co-worker and I'm not quite sure about it. He's in the middle of a divorce, which will be done soon I think. This is the 2nd time they've filed. I think it should be more of a friend thing than anything else to be honest. I'm not sure I'm ready to date. Or maybe I'm just not that into him? I was a year ago. I thought he was really cute & all American boy type but then I got to know him and I'm just not sure. I know that he'd do anything in the world that I asked of him. I'm just not sure he's for "me". If it doesn't pan out then is it going to be weird at work? Is it going to ruin the friendship we have? Ugh... Idk. I hate those types of situations.
So with those words I shall go off to bed now. I am going to try to blog more these days. I think I need it. I feel better when I can come here & vent. Whether anyone reads it or not- I don't know and it doesn't matter.
2010 is the year for ME.
0 comments:
Post a Comment