Alive

I'm not dead. Just had WAY too much fucking shit going on recently. To take out my aggression I ripped out all the carpet in the living room, hallway and tonight, the kitchen. I (with some help) have had the wood laminate installed in the living room & hallway so now only the kitchen is left. Debating on how I'm going to handle this. In a nutshell, George has told me he's done. Just done. BUT he wants to help me finish the floor.... WTF?! FUCK YOU. "We can be friends". Uh no, WE cannot be friends at this point in time. *I* cannot be his friend. I cannot see him out and be "ok". He never stays single long and I guarantee if he's not already "talking" to someone or has someone in mind he will w/in a month. That's the way he operates. I told him to find some 21 year old that likes to party all the time bc that's what his life is turning into. I hope he knocks her up too. (Ok I take that back- THAT would seriously kill me. THrow me right into a tailspin... that would not be good.) Anyway, fuck that. Fuck him. Fuck it all. So in the meantime I shall rip things up in my house. It keeps me occupied I guess. Although I'm running out of things to do.... I chopped my hair off during a crisis a few months back so I don't want to go any shorter there.... So... HELP!!!





Do you dream, that the world will know your name
So tell me your name
And do you care, about all the little things or anything at all?

I wanna feel, all the chemicals inside, said I wanna feel
I wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm alive
Just to know I'm alive

I wanna live, just to see the day when we all get along
I wanna scream, scream my song out loud for everyone to hear

Do you believe, in the day that you were born
Tell me do you believe?
And do you know, that every day's the first of the rest of your life

Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

And you know the pain, that brought you here today
So what can you do
And you know the tears, for losing those you love when yesterday is gone
So please remember not to waste another day, not to worry your mind
And please forgive me for taking so much time to get back on my feet

Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

And I'll fight it out 'cause I know I can
And I'll sleep tight 'cause I know you're here, no, no
I won't surrender

This is to one last day in the shadows
And to know a brother's love
This is to New York City angels
And the rivers of our blood
This is to all of us, This is to all of us

Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon (x2)

Don't tell me if I'm dying
Don't tell me if I'm dying
Don't tell 'cause I'm dying