Sunday, July 18, 2010

Camping, beer & douchbags

Went with the girls last night, pulled my neighbors camper out to another neighbors lakefront property to spend the night. We had stopped at a local bar on our way and had a few beers. Finally got out to the property and had a few with the girls there. An altercation broke out between the neighbors & I suggested to one we take a ride, which we did.

Ended up back in town at a different bar, had a few beers, rolled the dice & won a 6 pack! I *never* win anything! While in this bar 3 guys from out of town came in and I up a conversation with one. Super nice guy, said he's divorced with 2 boys. I gave him my number and away they went. They were headed to a different bar to see their friends that were playing in a band.

We headed back out to the lake and things had calmed down out there. Good times. The guys ended up calling so I met them at a bar and brought them back to the lake for a bit. He asked to see me again before he left & kissed me. Called at 430am when he got home... (lives about an hour, hour & a half away).

Today my phone rings.... "Hi Lolita, this is Katie, Josh's girlfriend, please call me back".

Ugh. WHY ME!?

She called three times. I finally text'd her and explained things and she called me back. I explained to hear what happened. Idk who to believe. Needless to say I haven't heard from him today... stupid asshole men! WHY can I NEVER meet a nice guy?! All I can think is that I'm just destined for someone better to eventually come along.

I have always said, I can attract any asshole, douchebag, cheater, or psycho within a 100 mile radius. Last night proved I still apparently have the gift.


Sunday, July 11, 2010

Weekend Update

Nothing new to report really. Had a nice weekend with some friends. Went on the neighbors boat on Friday night after work for a bit. Just out into the bay. Saturday we spent pretty much all day out there and took a trip up to the canal. There are some *gorgeous* homes along the canal. I'm very fortunate to be able to live here. Maybe not so much in the winter but definitely in the summer. Although I guess instead of elsewhere in the states, all we have to worry about are snow & blizzards. Because of the lake I have never seen a tornado here, maybe a small one out in the woods away from the lake but no tornado's, hurricanes etc.

I remember when I lived away from here and would come back to visit, how it awe I was with the lake. It truly is breathtaking.

Talked to Bug tonight. She's still having fun and not ready to come home. 3 weeks & 1 day down and 4 weeks and 6 days to go... not that I'm counting or anything.... I just seem very lost this year without her.

Next weekend is girls weekend with some friends on the property they have on the lake. Should be fun. My neighbor has a camper that she's going to pull out there so we don't have to sleep in tents. Damn mosquito's would eat me alive! Should be a good time. Next Monday is my birthday although I have no plans. A few girls & I bought tickets to see Brett Michaels & Vince Niel in concert so we'll do that later in the week. That should be interesting! I haven't been back to the town the concert is in in many years. One of the girls & I used to live there after we graduated high school and I was based there after that with the airline I used to work for. I'm sure it'll bring back some memories for sure! We'll have a great time. Now I need to find something cute to wear & grab my cowgirl hat!

I'll leave you with some pics from the weekend...

Friday, July 9, 2010

I am....

I am Strong because I am weak. I am Beautiful because I know my flaws. I am a Lover because I'm a fighter. I am fearless because I have been afraid. I am Wise becasue I have been foolish. And I can laugh because I have known sadness

I came across this on FB yesterday.  How fitting.  It states exactly how *I* feel.  How I'm sure many of us feels.  Sometimes, many times, I think we underestimate ourselves.

I am the type of person that really tries not to judge.  We all have flaws.  We all have a past.  Of course in some circumstances it's really hard not to and no matter how hard we try- we do judge others upon their actions, looks etc.  Like the old saying goes "Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones".

It drives me *insane* to be judged by someone that has made the same mistakes as I have, yet they feel they're superior.  Perfect even.  Do they forget about their past?  Do they forget about the things they have done that has made them into who they are today?  I think people often times forget this.  I find it funny that they know that I have not judged them for their past, for their faults, yet they feel it's ok to judge me and make me into this horrible person.  Why do people feel that's ok?  Its NOT ok.  Not at all.

I have one said friend/relative that's always been like my sister that I have rarely stood up to.  I am being judged, punished even, for something that I did a year ago.  Something that I deeply regretted.  It severed our friendship in a major way.  Things were just getting back to normal and now BAM!  Here we go again.  Because of this one mistake that I made, I'm made out to be this horrible person that I know I'm not.  Yes, I screwed up, I admit that.  But so has she.  In my eyes- even more so than this little mistake that I made a year ago.  I've written an email to her explaining that  I realize that once again, my incident is coming between us.  She hasn't talked to me in a couple weeks now because of something really stupid.  I mean REALLY stupid.  Stupid to the point that had this happened 2 years ago she wouldn't have thought anything of it but now because of the "incident"  I'm the worst person in the world and I have hurt her so deeply... Whatever.  I've always sat in the shadows.   I have always let her walk all over me.  Always been her door mat.  Since we were little kids.  She knows me better than anyone else and she knows that what she's accusing me of is asinine.  Yet she's always right and too proud to admit she's sorry. I think I've gotten one apology out of her in my entire life.  She's too proud.  Does nothing wrong.  Perfect.  Her husband is the most arrogant person I know and has basically turned her into a Stepford Wife.  It's almost like she has no mind of her own anymore.  What he says goes.  Of course it doesn't help that they consider themselves "functioning alcoholics".

Anyway, the point is that I have this very long email that I've written to her outlining all the times she's hurt me.  All the things she's done to me over the years.  All the things SHE has done and yet she's judging me for basically the very same thing she has done.  How is that fair?  I have never stood up to her.  I've always backed down and walked away. In her eyes right now I'm "dead to her".  Her very words.  Seeing as I'm "dead to her", why shouldn't I send the email?  Why should I let her pound me down one more time without standing up for myself?  Would I be the bigger person just walking away from it- sure I would.  BUT I think given the circumstances, it's about time that *I* stand up for myself and remind her of all the things that she has done.   All the "wrongs" she has done in/to her life.  All the times she's belittled me for the very same things she's done.  I honestly think it's time I stood up for myself.  This is an issue that's been weighing heavily on my mind since it happened a couple weeks ago.  Doesn't help that we work together as well.  I did close the email by saying that I hope she has a long, happy, healthy life & things in her marriage work themselves out.  That I will continue to have a working relationship with her but nothing more.  

I guess all I can do is take my chance on sending it.  She has the choice to read it or not.  I'm sure that nothing will get accomplished from it other than her hating me even more but at least I will have said my peace.  Something that I have never done with her.  I've always taken her shit & never dealt any back.  I think it's time that I stand up for myself for once.  She has to understand that HER actions hurt people as well.  The world does not revolve around her and her "fantastic" (rolling eyes) husband.  In reality he's the most arrogant person I've ever met.  Selfish, arrogant, self absorbed person.

So on that note, I'm sure I'll be here venting about the outcome of my email & all the repercussions that will come because of it.  Stay tuned....

I want to ride the Amtrak across the country... I think it'd be fun.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


Wow. I haven't been here since late April and come to find out the blogs that I was following are "gone". As in not on my list any longer. Oh well.

Bug's gone. Been gone for almost 3 weeks now. 3 down & 5 to go I guess. 8 weeks is a really long time when you're used to having someone with you at all times! We did do a bit of "lets hop in the car and just go" before she left which was really nice & fun. I love doing that. Not having any plans- just go. It'd really be much easier if I didn't have the animals but I do so I have to have them taken care of before we can take off anywhere. The cat is easy, leave out a few days worth of food- golden. The dogs- not so much.

We hit a neat little island about 4 hours from our house. I hadn't been there since I was 6 so that was quite a while ago. She thought it was going to be really boring but she actually had a great time. There are no cars on the island at all. Horses and bikes are the only way to get around. It's 8 miles around the island. We'd started biking it but it was getting too late and cold so we made it almost 2 miles each way. Between biking & all the walking we did, we got quite a bit of exercise in!

Before Bug left we had to travel across state for my Grandma's memorial service. Of course we had to turn that into an adventure as well, stopping here & there. It was a good time.

Now she's gone & I'm bored. I don't have George to keep me occupied like I did the previous 2 summers. I painted the front of the house. The house is red but it had a greyish lavendar color on the front which I've hated since I bought the house. I opted to paint it a golden yellow color. It's a bit more yellow & not enough gold than I wanted but it sure did brighten up the place! We also put up a nice little picket fence. I have one coat of white stain on that & one to go! The mud room is the next project to tackle bc it's just.... well... fugly and outdated. I should have done that today instead of sitting on my ass while it rained.

Why is it always nice during the day and then rain shortly after I get off of work!? WTH!? I can't complain about the weather though it's been beautiful! Sunny, warm (hot) and just a wonderful summer!

Some pics of what I've been up to because well... I really have nothing left to say. I told you, I've become boring! No love life, typical drama w/ the friends but as I said at the beginning of the year, I'm all done being a door mat. This last little episode confirmed that! Sadly its taken me almost 33 years to realize that's all I am. Oh fucking well. Good bye & have a nice life.

View of the big bridge

Our ferry to the island.
Driving over the big bridge!
Butterflies at one of the island's butterfly houses.

View from the Fort
One of the beautiful Great Lakes!
Arch Rock
Entrance to the Grand Hotel
One of 2 ways to get around the island

My new baby :) I realize it's sad that I'm excited about this but it's nice not to have to borrow one EVER AGAIN!!!! Now she needs a name!
The dome of the capital
Capital building
Bug's driveway chalk drawings... not too bad for 9 huh!?

Gorgeous sunset on the 4th

Happy Birthday America!

Later my bitches!