Tuesday, May 31, 2011


I have often thought about blogging... what I would write about. I used to really like to blog. I used to look forward to sitting down at night and putting all of my thoughts on here. I think that changed when I realized I think I bitch too much. Maybe I don't?! Idk. Lately it feels like I do. I think I'm too afraid to go back and attempt to read anything out of fear of what I'd read. Sometimes I like to just leave my thoughts and not revisit them.

There isn't much going on in my life. I was dumped... again. *SHOCKER* Yeah, I should be totally used to this by now. For the first time in 2.5 years, I allowed myself to open up to someone and BAM! He changed on me overnight. I still don't know what happened. Someone put a status on their FB page today, "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". I'm really not sure I agree w/ that. I'm not sure that I really enjoy getting hurt over and over again. This is why I keep myself so totally guarded. I can say "live and learn"... but do I learn? Sure, I walk away learning something from every relationship I've been in. I can say that I learned the difference between cuts of steak from George, or I learned that it's ok to buy myself things once in a while and not spend my every spare cent on Bug.... This one... I allowed someone to finally help me around my house. I know that sounds stupid, but I did. He trimmed trees, helped me in the garage etc. Things that I normally would tell someone "no", but I allowed the help. This is something that I am not very comfortable with no matter what the circumstances. I'm not sure why this is. Why I'm so against someone doing something nice for me. I have been this way for years. Maybe because it's been thrown in my face in the past. Someone offering help and then throwing it back at me and making me feel like a horrible person for accepting it. It's something I'm working on but I have a very hard time with.... But really, is it really better to have loved? I'm not sure. I'm not sure that walking away from a relationship with a ton of heartbreak is worth the price of learning the differences in cuts of steak.

I have a friend that needs to pick her up car in VA and drive it back to GA.... this sounds appealing to me as I've never driven the east coast, only flown all over it. They happen to have a great beach house in OBX as well. That'd be a bonus for the ride back! Stop there for a few days! *HEAVEN* There is nothing I like more than a nice house on the ocean. Granted that I'd have to pray that there would be no hurricanes while I was there!!! I've been in the storms as they traveled up the coast but never right in a hurricane. I'm pretty lucky where I live. We don't have any weather issues besides snowstorms! No hurricanes, earthquakes, hell we don't even get tornado's here. Sure we have watches but the last tornado to touch down even remotely near us (aka about 3 hours south) was over 20 years ago. The perks of living on Lake Superior I guess! I think I'd take a snowstorm over some of the devastation I have seen on TV lately.

I suppose that's it. I have to go figure out how I can come up with the money to head south on a road trip!

Later bitches!