Heart Attack

Ya, I don't have much time since Grey's will be on shortly, however I have to share my mini heart attack story with you.

Bug and I went to her open house at school today. We visited her classroom and her locker and all the things that you do at those functions. She'd heard they were having snacks in the cafeteria so we decided to check it out. I'm a sucker for baked goods so why the hell not right? We grabbed a cookie to split as well as a cup of juice. We'd been sitting for a couple of minutes and she says "Oh mom! There's our new secretary!!!!" She's just waving away so I turned around and talk about a holyshitithinkijustshitmyfuckingspants moment if I've ever had one. It was HER. T2. The soon to be ex wife of George. OMFG. I honestly cannot tell you if I smiled if I looked like I just shit my pants, if I was sitting on a hemmeroid. I have no fucking clue. I froze, yet my armpits started sweating profusely. OMFG OMFG OMFG!!!! UGH. Now this woman HATES my living guts. Seriously. I wish that I could have been "normal" towards her and said hello etc. but I couldn't. I just couldn't. I 'd really like to explain to her what happened between us and that *I* am NOT the reason that her marriage fell apart but you know? No matter what I say, no matter what I do. I'm a peice of shit in her eyes. I have wrecked her life. Nothing I say will be believed.

Now I would hate to be in her shoes. She was in the cafeteria to get some coffee. Now had it been me in her shoes, I probably would have turned around and walked away. Because that's me. I would HATE to see the woman that my ex was seeing before our divorce was finalized. Strictly becuase I can't blame her for thinking the things that she does. But there is NO way that she will be reassured. She sent him a rather nasty email yesterday asking when "it" will all be done so that he can stop sneaking around with me. You know, we don't sneak. She and her friend have walked up here and have seen his truck parked in my driveway. She even called him on it. We've NEVER denied our friendship. She knows that we talk, email etc. There is nothing to hide. Anyway, I just wanted OUT of that cafeteria like you cannot believe. So Bug and I downed our juice and away we went. Well wouldn't you know. Every single place I went in that hallway--- there she was. Like a vulture waiting for it's prey. Seriously, THAT is exactly how I felt.

Would she have said something to me? I'm not sure. I really don't know. Sometimes I think that she's just waiting for the right time. This weekend for instance, George left to see a friend and will be out of town until Sunday. She knows this. She knows that he isn't here to come to my aide or whatever you want to call it. I just don't know. I've seen the chick go off on him IN the bar in front of everyone. She doesn't care. Yet, when you meet her she's totally different. Probably one of the genuinelly nicest people I've ever met. It's just odd. I mean sure, we all have that front that we put up when we meet people, we're all on our best behavior...

But you know, SHE chose to stay here. She used to tell him that HE took her away from her family.... Uh.... REALLY!? Because I'm pretty sure she moved her on her own free will... I still cannot believe she kept her job here this year. Cannot believe that. We figured for sure that she would have left. Then again, in a way, I can see why she'd keep her job and stay here. Number one I guess it's her "dream" job. But number two, if I were her, I wouldn't have given up hope. I'd have stayed and tried to work things out with him...

Then again, he's VERY complex. When his mind is made up--- that's it. There are no questions, no if's, and's or but's. He's just "done". It's almost like he completely disassociates himself from everything and turns his feelings off with a flick of a switch. It's odd. When it comes to me, I see so much love in his eyes and his actions. Yet when it comes to "them", he seems numb. Completely numb and almost heartless in a way... Not in a Idontgiveafuckaboutyou sort of way but more of a "this is done and you need to put your big girl panties on and just deal with it". I don't know. I think I'd be hurt if my marriage had failed, even if *I* was the one that wanted to end things. I think I'd still be sad. I know I've never broken up with someone and NOT felt bad about it.

Oh well.

Listen bitches, it's been nice venting to you but I gotsta go. Bug's got homework and I have a date w/ the TV when Grey's comes on!

<3,
Me

Hmmm...

Well it's been a while since I've hopped on here. I had decided not to do halloween this year because of GNCT and then re-decided to go. Well now the 2 girls that were coming w/ me backed out. They both actually have legit reasons but it still sucks. Another friend of mine is still game. We're thinking about going as angels. Fitting don't you think?

George will be filing FINALLY. Get the shit done! Ugh.

My baby girl turned 7 yesterday. It's so hard to believe that she's that old already. Where does all the time go?

The house is coming along. Slowly but surely. I still have crap in the garage that needs to be put away but at least the rest of the house is pretty much put together. Just some painting to do now.

My fucking dog has been insane since we moved here. She's chewing EVERYTHING. EVERY SINGLE DAY. And every day she's shitting somewhere in the house. I fucking come home from work on a daily basis to let her out too. I think she's jealous of George to be quite honest. But today I came home and she had Bug's clothes box from her bday chewed up as well as a peice of wood that she got some God only knows where. I still can't figure it out. Yesterday, it was the cats cardboard scratching thing and a package that held Bug's make-up set. UGH seriously!? Where is the Dog Whisperer when I need him??????

My mom went right off the deep end. She's fucking crazy. She sent me an email Sunday morning before my daughter's bday party basically ripping me to shreads. All I can say about it is WTF?! Maybe I'll write more on that later. We'll see...

That's about all I have believe it or not. I had a bunch of stuff earlier that I'd thought about but now I can't remember what the hell it was. Go figure.

Later betches!

Mother Fucker

So I found a website today (pyzam) that does blogger layouts now. Do you THINK the mother fucker would let me actually use one!? Fuck no. Fucking fuck. They make it look all easy peasy and it's not. Lying bastards.

In other news...

I moved to a new house. Sorry for my lack of postings Ive been busy. Although I think that this will be my new welcome sign


Have I told you I'm a homewrecking whore!? Yes folks, apparently I am. Acutally I'm not. I had nothing to do w/ the demise of their marriage. Anyone who knows me knows this. The entire town as well as the "sister town" across the bay thinks I am! Seriously, there's a few thousand people around here but holy fuck! I mean, you cannot fart without your neighbor knowing.

The bitch who works in HR at work, oh ya, she called a couple of people into a fellow co-workers office and proceeded to tell them "Did you know that George left his wife for Lolita and is now moving in with her?" OMFG you have GOT to be kidding me!!! I find it funny. In fact I have started a rumor about myself that I'm knocked up too. With twins. But they have different dads. I think George is the father of one and my cousin is the father of the other one, but since I'm such a whore I can't be sure... Fucking fucktards. Seriously!?

Then again, I guess I did bring it upon myself huh?

BUT, in my defense *I* was not the cause of their failed marriage. They dated for 4 months before getting married. FOUR. Do you really know someone in 4 months? I think not. They were married by 6 as I'm sure I've said 100 times in this blog already. Whatthefuckever people.

My ex's gf is having a FIELD day with this. Leaving comments all over myspace about being a homewrecking whore. OH! And now apparently I'm Sasquatch too. Can a person help if they have hair on their arms? This chick is nearly 40 years old. GROW THE FUCK UP YOU CUNT!

UGH. I hate people!

So I was thinking about getting this for Halloween--- What do you think?


I think it's perfect!!!

Last year we went as pirate wenches. This year we're thinking about honoring the troops. What do you think of this? I actually owe it to Vixen because she's the one that found it for me. MUAH!


Ya I'm thinking a little 40's hair style and I'll rock. Bright red lips. Debating on shoes or red hooker boots with fishnets. What do you think???? Suppose I should find something to cover my ass too. That'd be a plus. Found these a couple years ago but I'm thinking they're just too frilly for under the itty bitty dress. :)


So there you have it. In my drunken stupor the other night I'd emailed the girls and said that I wasn't going. I wasn't dealing w/ GNCT (the ex's gf lovingly referred to as giraffe neck camel toe for VERY obvious reasons). However, today i'm feeling spunky. Let's fuck that bitch up! She will never be as hot as me anyway! She's too manly and giraffe like.

Let's see, what else can I pull out of my ass for you.....

I'm in love. Yes, I finally admitted it to him. I love him. I'm in love with him. He's everything I thought that he'd be and so much more. I still get butterflies from him. We've been able to do more things together recently. He helped me move etc. Tonight we took a nice ride in the woods to get away from reality. Had a "nooner" for lunch. :) It's just been really nice. You know how sometimes when you meet someone and you think they're a certain way and then after a while you realize they just irritate the living fuck out of you? I haven't gotten to that point and I sure as hell hope I don't!!! Now I know WHY I was like I was towards him for so many years. I must've seen something in him. I dont know but he makes me happy and that's what life is all about is it not? Yes it is. And sure, maybe we got to know each other under "wrong" circumstances but I think that it helped us grow as friends from where we were. I never once told or asked him to leave her. *I* was not going to carry that burdeon on my shoulders. He assured me that he was NOT leaving her because of me but because it had been a long time coming. They both knew it wasn't going to last.

So you know what? Let this gossipy little town talk all they want about me. I'm happy, I'm healthy and I have the man of my dreams beside me (ok not right now, he's at the bar but I'm sure he'll be here later...). :) LOL, Either way, I'm not giving up my happiness to appease some gossipy fucks in this town. I live my life for ME and only me. Ok, for my daughter too. But I certainly do NOT live it for the people of this community that have nothing better to do with their piddly boring ass lives. Maybe they need to get laid? You know, bitches are so much happier if they just get a little bit of dick in their vagina's every now and then. Tight ass ho's.

Ok I'm done. Aren't you glad that you waited for that post!? Hahaha!

Loving you!

sorry

Sorry I haven't been around. To my 1 reader. i'm drunk

I moved i'll write more later.