Wow! Twice in one week!!!

Ah, the joys of shopping for school supplies... That's what I'll be doing today. Notebooks, pencils, pencil sharpeners, rulers, glue etc. Yeah. I'm *so* excited. Nothing like fighting a gazillion people in Walmart for what you need. The pure thought of the full parking lot makes me want to vomit. Not to mention all of the college kids that are now back as well. God I hate shopping. I take that back-- I hate shopping, unless it's for my house.

I'm still not sleeping. I'm on about day #10. I wake up around 4am, wide awake, can't sleep. My mind isn't really racing about anything. I guess I sort of wake up after a dream, but it's a different dream every night. Idk... Just odd. I hate not sleeping. Must have too much crap going on in my life.

Speaking of crap. Ugh. I am supposed to attend a bday party at the lake house for my boyfriends sister on Sunday. The only problem? I'm SURE the bad SIL will be there. I really shouldn't say "bad" as I don't know her well enough to judge her. Let's call her the judgemental SIL. The woman is married to George's brother and HATES me. Literally hates me. They live a little over an hour away from here, and I've only been in her presence maybe 3-4 times over the past year. I skipped Christmas at George's house bc of the fact that his divorce was fresh and I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable even though I had already met the majority of the family. I know how much they liked his wife and how it was the first holiday w/o her etc. Not to mention Christmas Eve was being held in their house. So I opted to stay home and go to his house later after everyone was gone. So anyway, it's been a year since he left her and filed for divorce. I have seen the JSIL on Easter (I was invited but again, out of fear of making anyone uncomfortable I showed up later), she was still there when I got there. Funny story. Normally, as in this case I'm sort of viewed as the "outsider" so I keep my mouth shut about things and try not to speak up, call attention to myself, or get into a pissing match with anyone. I just suck it up. Well JSIL was going on and on about a cousin of mine, who also happens to be one of her good friends. She wasn't aware that said girl & I are related. She was going on and on about what a horrible marriage she has etc (like it was HER business to tell anyone to begin with even if it is true), and George's mom had asked her if any of the kids had graduated yet. She said no. Well I'd had enough of JSIL and her shit so I pipped up "Uh, actually S graduated 2 years ago and A graduates this year". OMG the look on her face was priceless!!!! Totally like "I cannot believe you just spoke to me, let alone CORRECTED me!!!". Oh inside I was hysterically laughing my ass off. Anyway, that was the last time she spoke "to" me. So fast forward to the 4th of July. I run into my cousin who was in town for the weekend, and we get to talking about JSIL. She told me that JSIL emailed her and told her that I "thought I knew it all", cousin says "well that's because SHE DOES!!!" and then proceeded to tell her that we're related etc. Hahahhahah!!!!! I f'n love it. Dumbass. Small town and she'll never get it. You just never know who is related around this place so watch who's back you stick the knife in! Anyway, I saw her again at a graduation party for a nephew and maybe that's it? So I guess I've only been around her a couple of times. Yet, not ONE single time has she or George's brother even said "hello" or acknowledged me. He has another SIL that lives here but doesn't like me much either. Funny bc last summer every time she saw me she'd be all nicey nice and say "hello" etc. Ugh. I hate two faced people. We see them more often than JSIL and I actually initiated a conversation w/ her the last time we were all together but whatever. Funny thing about her is that I had dated a guy a few years ago (I'd talked about him on the old blog) that lived an hour or so away-- well he proceeded to tell me about the affair that he had w/ said SIL! Nice huh!? Just another reason for her not to like me. I'm pretty sure that she knows that I know about their affair. Oh the tangled web we weave.

Oh so back to my dilemma. Sorry for the tangent... Bday party for his sister on Sunday... Last sat when we were out and he had too much to drink, we got into a conversation about his family. Brother & JSIL in particular. He had gone to camp to see brother & kids and I had found out later that one of his sisters and his parents had gone as well. I explained to him that he never asked Bug & I to go. He didn't have anything to say. I told him that I knew it was bc brother was there and he doesn't like me. He went OFF. Literally. He said something to the effect of "no they dont like you-- get over it". Umm... Wow! Holy slap in the face and punch to the gut! Although idk WHY I even felt that way having already known how Brother and JSIL felt about me. Why was I so insulted? Honestly I dont' think he and his brother have even had a conversation about me. I think it's just "understood" that they don't like me. Anyway, so I'm pretty sure since it's Labor Day weekend that they will be there tomorrow. Granted that he has a large family and I can avoid them like the plague but I also know that I'll be uncomfortable. In conversation recently he said that (when invited to a family function) I always ask who will be there. He's right. I do. He doesn't get it. I explained to him that I ask bc I need to make sure if they're there I can get in the frame of mind to be around people that dont' like me. I think that's fair, don't you? I mean, to be around 3 people (brother & 2 SIL's, I get along w/ the other brother) that don't like you and shoot daggers at you??? Not only that but these people don't even KNOW me!!! They have NEVER given me a chace nor have they even taken the opportunity to say hello to me. Or "how are ya?". Nothing. Not once. They simply hate me bc they view me as being the reason for the demise of George's marriage. It was NOT my fault. None of it was MY fault. Apparently they need someone to blame so they blame me. I guess it's easier than accepting the truth. They were good friends w/ the ex so I'm sure that's hard. I can understand that. I can understand that they probably feel they're betraying her if they even so much as talk to me but ugh.... How judgemental can people be??? *I* am being blamed and held accountable for something that *I* wasn't a part of!!! So idk. I guess I can put on the fake "I don't care" face when in reality they make me extremely uncomfortable, or I can just choose not to go. I had mentioned something to him last night about not being sure if I'm going or not. He didn't understand. Hey it's supposed to be nice out. IDK. It's on the lake etc which is great but I guess THEY are the only reasons that I'm considering not going. I know that Bug would have a GREAT time playing w/ the kids but... Ugh. Ignorant people. Maybe I'll be lucky and they'll have something else to do and wont' be there. Although it's sisters 40th birthday so I'm SURE they'll be there. Damn it.

My new gawdy ring that I love so much-- ya I'm allergic to it. Ugh. I figured that since it was a better quality silver I'd be ok. Ya, I'm not. I wore it for what? 3 days maybe? Last night it started. Little red itchy bumps all along the side of my finger. Sucks. I'd like to wear different jewelry other than the normal every day stuff that I wear but I can't for this reason. Once I had a necklace on that had a big red medallion sort of thing. The back was coated in silver and I had the biggest, ugliest rash on my chest from it in the following days. Apparently I can't even do "better" silver. Earrings-- even the hypoallergenic (or whatever they're called) ones- nope. Ears get red & itchy immediately. Sucks ass. I've learned that w/ earrings, as long as I'm only wearing them for a few hours, I can coat them in a layer of clear nail polish to form a barrier between my skin & the metal, otherwise I'm screwed.

I guess that's all I have for you today. I have to finish up my coffe, finish reading the news, hop in the shower and get my little butt in gear to start my day. I really should mow my lawn as it looks like a hay field. The leaves are starting to change already, which is so pretty but then makes me want to barf knowing that winter is just around the corner-- again. Already. Ew.

Have a great day my bitches.