Double Midgets

So today Bug and I were at a surprise bday party for my Uncle & cousin. As another relative is leaving and saying good-bye to Bug she said something regarding the two of us to which Bug replied "That's because we're double midgets". Huh!? My other Aunt starts laughing and says "No honey, I said you and your mom are like the double-mint twins". Oh out of the mouths of babes....

She also informed me the other day after one of the dogs came home and had a picker in her fur that pickers are in fact fruit and not a weed... I've tried to find this information on the net but when I google "picker" I just can't seem to find what I'm looking for and I can't for the life of me think of another name for a picker....

Oh and french fries are "rectangular prisms"... Who knew? Oh the things I learn from a 7 year old.

George bought her a new bike today. That was nice of him. I was trying to be slick and put one over on good ol WalMart but they were having none of it. I bought a new bike last fall which after riding it twice, the equivelent of 2 blocks, Bug and I were on the porch one day at the old house and out of no where heard "PSSSSSS", ya the tube inside the tire broke. Wonderful. Changing the gears never worked that great either so I figured I'd just bring it back and exchange it right? No. Not right. 90 days is all they give you. Well, who thinks of those things in the middle of winter with 4 feet of snow on the ground? So I did what any good WalMart loving person would do and told them that I got it as an Easter gift. Uh... that didn't go over well. The guy claimed that it was sun faded etc. I really don't know how that could be since it was stored in a garage but whatever. He also said the bikes went on clearence around Dec-Jan. Uh.. oops (que crickets) Hmmm.. they just gave it to me but my mom is a bargain shopper so maybe she found it then and just gave it to me? Ya that's it! Wow! I'm such a bad girl. I have a daughter going through catachism and learning right from wrong and here's her mom lying through her teeth about a bike. Well it could have been worse I guess!

Oh yes the reception. Pretty uneventful other than the fact that my friends step dad ended up passing away that morning around 215am. She was also in the wedding so she got virtually no sleep at all that night. Friday she was in her hometown about an hour away visiting them, they decided to admit him into the hospital around 330p, she came back for the rehersal and the dinner and wetn back to see him. As I said he passed that morning. This is the same girl that I believe I told you about before, she'd just lost her dad in January. Very sad. Oh ya, so the rest of the night was fun. I drank a lot but I didn't think I did. I only had one shot. I really try to stay away from them bc nothing good can EVER come of me and liquor. I need to stick to beer and only beer. Anyway, I promised George on our way that I wouldnt' flash anyone anything that night.... And I didn't. Ok well I did fall on my way out of the bar at 215am and might have flashed something but that was not intentional. Anyway, so we all had a great time. Everyone got along. I congratulated the dickhead ex's new girlfriend on her pregnancy right after the ceremony. She's a great girl I really like her. Very personable etc. She thanked me. So later that night after the wedding party and everyone headed to the bar I congratulated him. Uh... that didn't go over so well. "I still don't fucking like you". (me) *giggle "What?" (him) "I still dont' fucking like you". Oh ok then. Hahahha! I laughed. It was funny. He is SUCH a miserable asshole. Wow. He'll make a TERRIFIC father. *rolling eyes over and over again. Poor girl stuck with that prick. I hope she knows what the fuck she's in for! Ugh. Dumbass. That was about the extent of my fun that night... Till the next morning........

We got home from the bar and George picked out some leftover pizza from the fridge bc he was hungry. I had to pee so I did my business, took off all my clothes and put on my robe (it was SO much more comfortable then the get up that I had on). I decided that I was tired so I laid down on the floor in the computer room which is right across the hall from the kitchen where he was standing. I told him I might be sick (when I laid down I ended up w/ floor spins) so he threw me this big ass blue bowl just in case I needed it. Next thing I know I wake up at 830am, STILL on the floor, one dog on each side of me, in my robe- NO blanket at all!!! I got up and prayed to the porcelin Gods a bit and then let the dogs out, brushed my teeth and crawled into bed. He woke up and looks at me, looks down at himself, looks at me again and said "whose shirt am I wearing?". I looked at him and said "Uh, I think that's mine..." Then he did it. He sat up and I thought I was going to piss myself. There, on his back in big gold letters says "Victoria Secret"!!!!!!!!!!!!!! With a pretty little v-neck to accentuate! OMG now that was a pants pisser if I've ever had one!!! (Luckily I'd just peed!) I started laughing, he was laughing... I have NO idea how he'd gotten that shirt. He asked if it was in his drawer and I said no it was in my pajama drawer. He must've been a bit disoriented when he went to bed. Hahaha! Now THAT my friends is funny ass shit. I couldn't tell the story at all this week without breaking into tears. Dumb drunk.


Weather's been hit and miss. On Monday night we'd gotten between 6-8" but a town just an hour from us got 25.6inches!!!!!! Can you imagine!? I thought my friend was joking when she said she couldn't get her Ford Escape out of the garage and that she'd shoveled for an hour and a half. Now that is insane. It was 60 yesterday and close to that the day before so luckily it's almost gone. Ugh. I cannot WAIT for spring. Although I'll take 50 over 20 degrees any day.

I bought myself a Spot Bot today. I'm so excited. With a new puppy that's not quite housebroken this outta come in handy! A friend of mine loves hers and I read reviews on the net so I cannot wait to use it. Who would have thought I'd have gotten so excited about a freaking vaccumme/ deep cleaner thing!?

Speaking of the puppy, she's twice the size of her brother from the same litter. Oh and last Sat (I may have told you this last week) but she developed cherry eye. It's ugly. Looks like a hemmeroid coming out of the corner of her poor little eye. Brought her to the vet on Tuesday bc I thought she also had conjunctavitis, which she does, so they gave me some ointment to put in them. It seems to be helping a bit but we'll see what happens. The vet did say that less then 20% of cases will go away on their own so we either leave it or when she gets spayed they can push it back in, sew it up and hope that it doesnt' come back out. We have plenty of time to decide what to do so we'll just go with it for now. Poor little thing. Thank God it doesnt' bug her!

From the words of Porky Pig himself--- that's all folks. I'm going to play with my new Spot Bot. Oddly enough I'm looking forward to cleaning something. I hate cleaning!

Oh and I'm getting chubby so I have to start exercising. When I brought this up to George the other day he said "honey, you have a small everything but you've always been a little chunky in the middle". WTF!? Thanks asswipe! Although I guess I can't knock him, I brought it up after a comment was made to me on Friday and he was only being honest. At least it gives me some incentive to get off my ass. Mojito- can I go to your ab class with you??? Will you hold my hand too?

Ta ta bitches!