Tagless, pinecones & dog shit

Picked up the half dried up dog shit in the front yard today. EW. Well someone had to do it and since I'm the only adult here I suppose I had no other choice. Although I have the biggest, ugliest pine tree in my yard. There must be at least 9,568 on the ground and another 11,735 ready to fall. Hard to decifer what was dog shit and pine cone after a while. Dumb dogs.

I hate bad drivers too. No matter where I wetn today I was met with one. On my way to work I was behind a flipping school bus driving 40 in a 55. On the same stretch of road on my way back from lunch I was behind some jackass doing 30. THIRTY mph! WTF?! Ugh. On the way to drop off George's pc after work some dumb fuck pulls out of the intersection in front of me. Uh HELLO!? Did you NOT see my car?! Dumb. I didn't slow down I just got right on their ass. Those people shouldn't have a license. *I* on the other hand NEVER make mistakes and am a perfect driver. Pffft.

Oh and Snaggletooth will be back the beginning of May. Wonderful. I'm thinking she'll move about an hour away with the guy she's going to sponge off of next. You know, the one we BOTH have in common. She cannot do anything by herself. Hell she's never even lived by herself. She expects people to support her worthless fat ass. Ugh. Those people piss me off.

So Mojito didn't have anyone to tag and I felt pity on her. Since I actually have nothing interesting for you today I figured I'd fill her tagless tag. (Does that make sense? It does to me and that's all that really matters you hookers.)

Vix tagged her which she was really quite alright with. She can tag her anytime I guess I should get on with it then, heh? OK:

This is Isabella’s Sex Meme that Vix stole from Biscuit. (I think that's how it all went down.) Her answers were fun to read so I thought I would snag it too. Anyone is welcome to steal it but you must post this rules blurb at the beginning of the meme:

1. You must include this link to Sex Talk: Sex Advice for Men
2. You must answer every question! If you don’t have a good answer, you are strongly encouraged to make up something good; we like to be entertained.
3. You must tag 3 people.


1. Sex in the Morning or Sex at Night?
I hate mornings. Unless it's one of those instances where you wake up and find yourself in the middle of it and have the "how the hell did this happen" moment but are totally ok with it. Otherwise no, I'm night hawk. Morning are a very rare occasion in my book.

2. Better Sex Music: Sade or Marvin Gaye?
Ummm.. How about Berry White? Was that his name? The Velvet Teddy Bear? How there is a GREAT song by Moby called The Ultimate Fuck Song. I always thought that would be fun for something different. Normally I just listed to the tv. :)

3. Naughty Pics or Naughty Home Video?
I used to want to do a video just to see what I looked like. That was before I had a child. Now? Ew. No freaking way. Pics can be fun, especially if you're half in the bag at the time.


4. Fabulous Sex With: Dr. Doug Ross or Dr. Greg House?
Dr Ross I guess. House would just tell me what I was doing wrong and I'd have to laugh at him which would totally ruin the moment. Can't I pick McDreamy or McSteamy???? This game sucks.

5. Vibrator or Dildo?
Vibe. I'd rather have the real thing than a dildo.


6. Bedroom Sex: Lights Off or Lights On?
I dont' really care. I'm comfortable enough either way. Sometimes though you can do alot of imagining in a pitch black room. (Well now how WRONG did THAT sound??? Hahahah I didn't mean like imagining someone else or anything!!!)

7. Word preference: Pussy or Cunt?
Hmmm.. See I'm ok with either really. Cunt makes me laugh for some reason. Unless someone is really pissed off at me and using it that way but just in an everyday way, ah, whatever. Now if I really dislike someone, say GNCT or Snag for instance, yes they are cunts because the word pussy is just too nice of a word to use to describe those two dirty whores.

8. Spanking Over the Knee or Spanking Only During Sex?
I actually really like to be spanked. George doesn't have the heart to really get me good but we're working on it. Has to be the right moment though. :)

9. More Exciting: Sex in an Elevator or Sex in an Airplane?
Hmmm.... Tough. I'll go w/ elevator. Preferably with a mirrored ceiling.

10. Ron Jeremy or Peter North?
Ew. Now about neither. I had to Google to see who PN was. I didnt know. I prefer not to get too personal w/ my porn stars.

11. Word preference: Cock or Dick?
Dick. I just don't really see a reason to use the word cock. I'm ok with it though. Actually maybe I should change my ways and start calling people cocks instead of dicks. That might be fun and throw them off for a bit. It's like when you get into a name calling thing with someone and you run out of names-- crotch gets them every time. They get stumped... In my world anyway.


12. Linda Lovelace or Jenna Jameson?
Jenna. She's hot, although getting a bit too thin IMO. Nothing like screwing a skeleton.

13. Rope Bondage or Bondage Tape?
How about neither for $1000 Alex? I don't really care for rope burns and the hair on my arms would really suck when you pulled the tape off. So neither is my answer.

14. Give a Rim Job or Receive Anal Sex?
Anal.


15. Get Rich Stripping in a Skanky Bar or Get Rich as a Call Girl for Celebs?
Skanky bar? No thanks. The last strip club that I was in was HORRIBLE. Seriously when the girls have to come up to your table and ASK if we're tipping--?! Ya, that bad. I left feeling great about myself though. I saw stretch marks on those girls in places that I didn't know you could possibly have them.

16. Which threesome: Boy/Girl/Girl or Boy/Boy/Girl?
I used to want a BBG-- as long as the focus was all on me and they didn't touch. I don't enjoy male porn. I dont care if guys kiss but just don't want to see any asshole sex going on. No offense. So I'll go w/ BGG. Hands down.

17. Flavored Oil or Tingling Oil?
Tingling. I love the tingling stuff. I have tried the KY Warming as well as Love Motion #9-- now that isn't for everyone. I think I was the only one that actually liked it after buying it from the "tool" party.

18. Pearl Necklace or Swallow?
I have swallowed once in my entire life and I'll never do it again. Ever. Ewww... Barf, gag.

19. Sex While Strangers Watch or Sex with a Stranger?
I'm ok with people watching, that doesn't bother me at all. Been there done that. It can be hot actually.

Not tagging bc no one reads this anyway! :) However like Mojio said, if you do it let me know! :)

Later hookers!